For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
