Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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