I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
