I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
