I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
