You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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