you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
