apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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