Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
