Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
