Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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