DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
