So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
either way he was missing a nipple.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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