No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
