Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
