Will you blow on my dice?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
