I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
