Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She bit a glass in half.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
