There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
