rhymes with "ouble enetration"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
