32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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