Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
