he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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