I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
