Sponge bath it is.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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