My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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