I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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