you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
