man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
