Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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