this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
