you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
