we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
