you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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