Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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