Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
