one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
