And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
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Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
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Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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