there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
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Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
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you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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