she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
