Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Randomize
