And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
