its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
