there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
