Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize