we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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