well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
