Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
false alarm, still single
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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