Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My vagina is officially offended.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
