I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
