Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My ATM looks so different sober.
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I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
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We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How naked do you want me to be?
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