Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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