Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
