And the cops told us we were all naked.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
