Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My feet surprised me
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
