A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
