My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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