I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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