Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Randomize
