It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
This is my gift to your gina
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
send nudes
from the living room?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
