i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize