We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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