guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
