I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
