my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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