just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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