My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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