I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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