I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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