I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
