I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
