Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
