Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
