just survived the first fart of the relationship.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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